In the past few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about my support system and how important it is to have family and friends that I can count on to help me when I need it. As a wife, mother, working woman, and new entrepreneur,  I am learning that now more than ever, it is vital for me to be able to recognize when my schedule is too full, and to ask for help. I truly feel that asking for help from others makes us better versions of ourselves. Asking for help is an act of self care. It feels good to know that we are not alone, and that there are people who love us and want to support us.  It’s not that we can’t do it all by ourselves, it’s that we don’t have to! Here are 4 steps that you can use to feel more supported in your own life.
1. Take Inventory
Start to notice the areas of your life where you have a lot of help and support. These may be areas where you’ve become so used to having support that you barely even notice it anymore. Maybe your mom watches your kids everyday while you are at work and you’re so used to this routine that you don’t even realize how lucky you are to have loving and free childcare. Maybe your husband cooks dinner every night, and you’ve become so accustomed to it that you now look at the cooking as his responsibility. Maybe you have a housekeeper that cleans your house every other week and you take for granted how nice it is to come home to a clean house that you didn’t have to tidy yourself. We all have areas where we are so supported that we start to forget just how lucky we are.
Alternately, it is equally important to recognize the areas where you are lacking support. Again, these may be areas where you are so accustomed to doing things on your own that you don’t even realize that getting help is an option. Maybe you are used to cooking dinner 7 nights a week, and haven’t thought that you could ask for help in the kitchen, or order take out. Maybe you are exhausted from always being the one to get up in the middle of the night with your baby, but you are so used to doing it that you don’t even realize that you could ask your partner to take turns tending to your babe. Perhaps you are very goal oriented at work, and even though you are starting to feel burnt out, you never think to ask for a day off or see if you can delegate some of your tasks. We all have areas in our life where we are used to doing it all on our own. If we take a step back from our little bubble, we can look at the big picture and see where we could be doing less in order to feel better.
2. Show Gratitude
The next step is to show gratitude for the areas in your life where you feel fully supported. Really start to witness all of the small ways in which your loved ones support you on a regular basis. Every time you notice that you are being supported, smile, and say “thank you”. The more we give thanks, the better we feel. Also, people love to be appreciated. It makes our loved ones feel good to see that we recognize their kindness. By being genuinely grateful for the support that we get, we are opening ourselves up to receive even MORE support. How great is that?!
3. Ask for Help
Now that you’ve noticed the areas in your life where you are lacking support, it’s time to do something about it! Brainstorm different ways in which you can make your life a little easier by asking for help. This could be as simple as asking a friend for advice next time you are upset about something, instead of thinking that you need to figure out all the answers on your own. Or, maybe you need to hire a babysitter, set up a meal delivery service, or order your groceries online. Maybe you need to take a day off of work once a month in order to have some time to yourself. Maybe you are having a really bad day and all you need is a shoulder to cry on. Figure out what you need in this moment in order to make life feel better and run smoother, and then ask for it. You deserve to feel comforted, happy, and supported, and sometimes that takes a little bit of outside help.
4. Support Yourself
Finally, the last and most important step is to support yourself. You can have tons of support around you, and it will never feel like enough if you are not supporting yourself. Become your own biggest cheerleader, give yourself permission to go after your dreams, and acknowledge your own good work. Even on difficult days, take time to appreciate that you are doing your very best, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Be encouraging and speak kindly to yourself. Support your body by getting enough rest, eating well, and being active. Nurture your spirit by learning to be still, meditating, praying, and connecting to something bigger than yourself. Take care of your mind by treating yourself well, having fun, and being happy.
In the comments below, show some gratitude for one area in your life in which you feel truly supported. Also, let me know one area in which you’re going to ask for a little extra help. I’d love to celebrate with you and help keep you accountable!
Wishing you a week full of love + support.
Be well,
Ambar